the wasteland is a hostile emptiness and it has some pockets of life
isn't that the universe tho? most of space is barren and cold except this blue disk
living in LA i feel like that too
wandering around in its maze-like constructions, concrete and cars going fast, the only life you see is human bacteria, srpouting and spreading on the sidewalk.
on the internet too, i go for some sense of connection because i feel alientaed by the lockdown, but i distract myself by endlessly refreshing and feeding myself brain ticklers
and window shop for the most desireable thing in this world
feels like human connection is going to be the most valuable currency in the wasteland
the american dream is the frontier. the dream manifest man's natural desire to go forth and become fruitful. the american dream is also christian. where all is equal under the law, where we decide our leaders, and we are not under the yoke of kings or tyrants. for a kid growing up in the 3rd world and who sees america as heaven, the dream is also a healthy capsule of corporate mind pills. you can have it all! you can have all the money, and the glory, the fulfilment, the beachfront property, and the girls! white ones black ones puerto rican middle eastern, asian, all, and the one girl will rock your world like no other. and how do you do it? by following your passion kid, follow it with all your heart kid, never give up. funny thing that. those are good advice to getting exactly what you deserve. how you deal with it is up to you

check it out, jungle music goes with everything
it's jussa vibe you know?

art is coping
dealing with what is versus what should be
but arent we always, in the stream of life?
anyways i have to reserve out a year of my life at this moment to have surgery on my foot
since an accident fucked it up really bad
i dont know if its gonna be back to how it was,
best case scenario it does
worst case scenario i lose a bunch of ability
i havent been able to dance in 4 5 months and i feel like ive aged 4 or 5 years
and it is a major shift in life direction
starting from one ligament and one bone from one fall
its a wierd feeling to have the main thing that i hold, i can no longer do
yet now i have to base my life around this event, and yet it gives purpose
the pressure burdens me

comes down to it what is the value of art
if everything melted away like this wasteland right here, will art have any value?
i say yes. in the practice, even if that shit is boring to the onlooker, it can be a world of excitement for you
ahhh to be able to dive into a song and some movement flow
ahh to have a good foot

art is coping
coping with what is and what should be
trying to understand
drugs dont make you see more or hear more
it just takes off some of the filters
parts of the world makes me giddy with joy rarely
and some parts just kill your soul

in the wasteland, when i became death embodied, i realized that even if i am all powerful by the metrics of this reality, i am unable to change certain natures and the ourcome

omids challenge for me was to make it interesting for the audience and its art because i take into consideration my audience. but what the fuck does that mean from a creator stand point if the video itself is a journey towards and maybe at the end... what do they leave with, a sense of confusion? u can't just jam pack eveyrthing in and expect pattern recognition to do the rest
isn't that what art is?
something is or it isn't.
but with art it shows the illusion of the world
something is and isn't something at the same time

if its just music and movement and words

there is a hopelessness and a deep sorrow. will we go back to the old ways? how old?
before goerge w bush old? before kennedy old?
back before we had to buy fun sized shampoo and take off our shoes before subjecting ourselves to a total-recall like machine check before waiting at our gates?
or only just a couple of months prior where we can just hang out without masks?
now every gathering is political.
the world that i was born into no longer exists
even yesterday feels far away, slipping into the void

what if i chose my future? what if i chose something else rather hoping for an ikea smart apartment, a girlfriend, a dog, and work that resembles crouching by the screen has the hour ticks faster
sometimes you dont choose the life path that is taken for you

fuck self pity

they say love will conquer all
all for love
i lived by that
then they tell you get real
love doesnt pay the bills
money beats soul everytime
then they beat you over the head that they love you