n o t e
wasteland blues

i was born and grew up in a world that no longer exists and is lost in time
the kid, dreams of heaven
some other place that wasnt here
my window was the tv, the future
space, computers, technology, weapons
with a lot of friends
but i cant get that living here
maybe some other place
some other part of the world that wasnt ravaged by poverty and communism and the hostility one feels for a neighbor

there was a dream of an america, the usa, stars and stripes. so many lose their lives trying to get inside
it was a place where people did honest busniess, where you dont have to pay off cops and bureaucrats and gangsters so you can live unbothered
so my parents waited and waited and prayed and we got to LAX
to me that was proof: if you do enough good and say enough hail marys you get a plot of real estate in this one and the one after
what do you do if someone bullies you?
well if they strike you, turn the other cheek, love thy enemies. just ignore them and they'll go away. they want you to react, after all.
just do good in school and everyone will want to be your friend.
later on i learned that the sullen ones go to Hell too, they gargle in the muddy waters, unable to express their silent rage
movies sell dreams. the characters in there meet, fight, kill, kiss, and bang all in about 2 hours. against all odds . ah to have that passion in the real life!
the romance, the courage, the adventure, the beauty of the moment, continously, against all odds.
i didnt know those pictures and sounds were products.
no, they were gospel. they showed me that people fight, empowered by some ideal, and they win every time, because they're right. because good always win.

they say chase your dreams kid, chase your dreams. that is the way. that is the way to get everything you deserve. and maybe once someone get's what's comin', they learn the lesson in the wasteland sometimes its a little too late

and after all the lies and the pretending
finally, twas the mote in her eye that had me sending
while the beam in mine needed removal
it was not wither, to claim my soul
not to go thru another like before
but to wander thru the wastes
deep down i think evil fears truth
even if evil has power, it scurries and snarls and always seeks to supress, to squash what seem to so eloquently exist in its natural state.
and maybe the truth is absurd and horrific so that it is always hidden in plain sight, as if we dont have the imagination to comprehend it
when you do drugs, its like a shortcut to see the real real, where the scales fall from your eyes
its good that my folks achieved the dream
a family and a house and church
for me it is like trying to grab water with the hands
while time drains it away
dance is the escape
we get to swim in an ocean of sound and impulses
losing ourselves in time in the absolute moment
because every electron vibrates around the nucleus
and we can abstract some order by repeating and mirror, phrasing, grouping, layering, for our pattern recognition